THINGS I HAVE LEARNED BY NOW
1. If somebody likes you because of how cool your car is, that person is probably ten years old.
2. The time at which you finally leave adolscence is the moment at which you stop pumping your fist and saying "yessssss...." as a positive exclamation.
3. Helmet laws for bike-riding children are depressing.
4. No one is going to like you any more or less due to your S.A.T. score.
5. About once a year, you should allow yourself one night all alone. Stay up as late as you can keep your eyes open and listen to every song you haven't thought about since you were fifteen.
6. Everybody's life sucked in middle school, and most people's through high school as well, so if you're going to use teenage trauma as an explanation for your actions, make it about something cool or constructive, and not as an excuse for acting like an asshole when you drink.
7. Ayn Rand is best enjoyed before you know anything else about philosophy, other people, or the world. This makes it good reading for high-school sophomores.
8. People who smoke grass aren't "the bad kids," but they aren't necessarily cool either. Particularly if they base their schedules around it.
9. Every genre of music, film, what have you has it's brilliance and it's dreck, and anyone who claims otherwise is simply afraid to expiriment for fear of tainting their image.
10. I suck with women, but I do a lot better when I trick myself into foolish confidence.
11. If you can get your parents laughing at your dirty jokes, you're probably okay with asking them for money.
12. Don't shoot the puppy.
2. The time at which you finally leave adolscence is the moment at which you stop pumping your fist and saying "yessssss...." as a positive exclamation.
3. Helmet laws for bike-riding children are depressing.
4. No one is going to like you any more or less due to your S.A.T. score.
5. About once a year, you should allow yourself one night all alone. Stay up as late as you can keep your eyes open and listen to every song you haven't thought about since you were fifteen.
6. Everybody's life sucked in middle school, and most people's through high school as well, so if you're going to use teenage trauma as an explanation for your actions, make it about something cool or constructive, and not as an excuse for acting like an asshole when you drink.
7. Ayn Rand is best enjoyed before you know anything else about philosophy, other people, or the world. This makes it good reading for high-school sophomores.
8. People who smoke grass aren't "the bad kids," but they aren't necessarily cool either. Particularly if they base their schedules around it.
9. Every genre of music, film, what have you has it's brilliance and it's dreck, and anyone who claims otherwise is simply afraid to expiriment for fear of tainting their image.
10. I suck with women, but I do a lot better when I trick myself into foolish confidence.
11. If you can get your parents laughing at your dirty jokes, you're probably okay with asking them for money.
12. Don't shoot the puppy.
posted by Pascals Bookie @ 4:59 PM
4 Comments:
Wait, I still pump my fist and go 'yes' sometimes.... I've also been known to overuse the word dude.... wait... still in adolescence...
Hmm, guess I shouldn't have bought that copy of Atlas Shrugged after all...
I don't get it... so you want me to shoot the puppy? Why?
But you did not shoot the deputy?
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