A Dozen Good Reasons for Irish Pride

1. Druids, man. Druids.

2. Never elected Hitler even once.

3. Irish folk music begat country americana, which in turn begat Rock & Roll. (Stop the train before you get to disco.)

4. Redheads.

5. National terror syndicate voluntarilly disarmed. Can Hamas be far behind? (Answer: yes.)

6. Said "fuck you" to the crown back before it was cool.

7. Redheads.

8. Home of 50 Fortune 500 companies, and now one of the richest-per-capita European countries. Incidentally, Americans of Irish heritage have fared better financially than Americans of any other heritage, so that's nice.

9. James Joyce, who made a name for himself recounting the time he jerked off on a beach.

10. Could probably annex Wales if we really, really wanted to stick it to the U.K., but we cool about it.

11. Boston, and by extension, the Red Sox.

...and 12. Took a ho-hum religious and nationalistic Holiday and sold it to the world as a glorious celebration of unnecessary excess, a feat that Mexico has yet to fully repeat with "Cinqo de Mayo." So big-ups Eire. May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.