DISH OF THE DAY

Look at you. You were a young hottie, intimidatingly smart and full of potential, which you have fulfilled, as Frylock might say, in the most ass way possible. You used to be every Demoacrat's sister, the girl they'd stand up and fight for no matter what cost. Sure, your healtrh care program didn't work out the way you'd planned, but no one else had any ideas, and you were using the First Lady's office in a way no one since Edith Wilson. It was a sight to be seen.

Now, between sensibly taking a moderate, common-sense stance on abortion and religion, you're fighting windmills like sex in the Grand Theft Auto games and siding with Hollywood plutocrats on Digital Rights Management. I voted you into Senate, like a great many people in my district, because you looked toward the future with a pragmatic eye. Now you kowtow to what I'll call the "batshit-crazy" right for ploitcal gain, and with every vote you seem less and less sincere. I know you're going for the Presidency and all, but I have a better idea.

Don't run.

You'll win in the primary, sure. You'll be the most visible, most well known candidate by a landslide, but you don't have a chance of winning the general. For the last fifteen years, the Republican Machine has inexplicably chosen you as their whipping boy, from town hall, talk shows, pulpits and bumper-stickers they've made you out to be the anti-christ. Swing voters from battleground states might be willing to vote democratic after all the Bush administration has put them through, but - fair or not - they'll never allow themselves to vote for you.

You'll get the Dems, but never the country, and it'll be the death rattle for the party.