SPIRITUAL MONDAY!!
1. Who would win in a knock-down, all-or-nothing grudge-match between Jesus and Buddha? Where would the fight take place? Cage or no cage?
posted by Pascals Bookie @ 1:32 PM
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Monday, January 30, 2006
1. Who would win in a knock-down, all-or-nothing grudge-match between Jesus and Buddha? Where would the fight take place? Cage or no cage?
4 Comments:
I am going to go with Jesus, hands down. The Buddah was pretty big on the pacifism, and despite the fact that Jesus is often cast as being chill and peaceful, he has been known to rip shit up, a la tossing the money changers out of the temple. That's what Josh (tacitean) calls "Low Blood Sugar Jesus", and he is not to be fucked with.
As for location, I'll take somewhere in persia, since it's neutral territory, although I would also settle for a Seven-Eleven.
Cage if persia, no cage if Seven-Eleven.
I dunno, Fat Man stops being mellow in a hurry when Skinny Man gives him shit. Jesus might have the reach, but I see him doing a lot of dancing in the round, whereas Buddha could kinda hold his own ground, you know? A cage would be nice, just to see if they ended up wearing each other out and then settling their differences, which isn't good television but would still be nice. As such, I nominate that bar in Spain where Vega used to kick it.
Righteous and DEAD.
Okay, first of all, any founder of a religion that comes up with the SHAOLIN TEMPLE will win hands down in any mano-a-mano fight. Seriously, SHAOLIN TEMPLE. We're talking Jet Li's first motherfucking movie here. Buddha's like the origin of 75% of the badass-ness of East Asia, right there.
Second of all, the Buddha is OMNISCIENT. Yeah, that's right, he knows absolutely everything. This wouldn't even be a fair fight, because Buddha will know that one day he will face up against Jesus the moment he attained Enlightenment, and with his knowledge, he could destroy Jesus before Jesus even knew what hit him.
Third, since the Buddha is OMNISCIENT, it wouldn't even need to be a cage match, it would be more like some-random-place-by-the-road-where-the-Buddha-could-pop-out-of-a-bush-and-bust-some-Dharma-caps-in-Jesus's-ass match.
Yeah, Buddha, in like -243 rounds, around the Jordan river somwhere.
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