DISH OF THE DAY


When I was thirteen I was going through a (very self-inflicted) tough time. I won't bore you with the details, because I honestly can't even remember them for the most part, but also because seventh grade simply sucks for everyone, largely because everyone thinks they're the only ones who feel that shitty. I was certainly no better.
Then Easter came along, and my parents had put "Siamese Dream" in my basket. Suddenly I wasn't alone anymore. Somebody knew how I felt. And more to the point, they also knew how to ROCK!I played that album to thhe point where it wouldn't even work as a beer coaster anymore. Then Mellon Collie came out on October 24th, 1995. My birthday was in two days but I bought it that night and gave it the same heavy rotation that Siamese Dream got. It was glorious. Then a couple of things happened.
First, you were scheduled to play SNL. Tarantino was the host. My friends made jokes all week about this being MY episode. The jokes were stupid, mind you, but I didn't care. Quentin was hosting and you were playing and life couldn't get any better. Then you took the stage. Or mather, a thumping mutant Martian with similar facial features to yours took the stage. I didn't understand. You had hair in the promos! What happened? A little part of me died that day. I couldn't put my finger on it then, but now I think I know what heppend that Saturday night. Here was this music - this whole genre of music - that spoke to me, silly as it was. It took me to a higher place, and kept me back from the brink of irreversable depression, and I suddenly saw it for all the posturing that it was.
The second thing was when my brother asked you to sign an autograph for me and you told him to tell me to "fuck off." He delivered the message.
Ever since then you've smirked and whined your way along, moving further and further from relavence as you go. I pondered putting you on this list. "What's the point?" I thought, "'His carreer's already over. And besides, the old music still kicks ass." And then I looked at your picture above, like Yanni all set for swim season, and I remembered. Siamese Dream is amazing, but you still suck. The C.H.U.D.'s can have you now.